The River Opens

Last several months, or precisely about six months, seemed like riding in the fast rapid flow of river. All the surroundings were blur, though I know I was going very slow pace at some points. A lot of things happened. First, I lost my job. My position was terminated at the university due to a lack of funding. Then, I was accepted to go to the Blue Mountain Center for 2 weeks residency in July. Shortly before that, I was given an opportunity for a solo show in the fall. In the summer, I devoted a lot of my time on Brazilian zouk dance as a coordinator for the International Zouk Flash Mob for the Boston team. I learned the choreography from the video and taught, and coordinated the flash mob day event. In August, I went to NYC to get the zouk teaching training and received my advanced zouk teaching certificate from Zouk NY. More than a half of August was spent either being in NYC or hosting people at my house. September came and went like a hurricane. Before I knew it, it was September 21^st, the International Day of Peace, also the day of the International Zouk Flash Mob. On this day, nearly 5,000 people from 127 cities and 43 countries danced the same choreography around the world. Boston team danced 8 times at 6 different locations throughout the city. We spent all afternoon trekking around the city and dancing.

Boston Team performing in front of the Trinity Church.
Photo: Charles Daniels

But ten days before that, my 17 years old cat sort of collapsed. She couldn’t eat or drink well on her own anymore. So, I had started nursing her with baby food and giving her infusion everyday. Much of September was spent in my studio, trying to finish all the works for the show. And my cat, Ash, was always on my side. If I was sitting on the floor drawing, she would sit on the cushion right next to me. And if I was sitting on the chair, she would climb up and take over the chair, so I always ended up sitting on the edge of the chair. Even though she couldn’t eat well on her own and getting weak, she kept a good company for me; following me around as much as she could, and still climbing up to the bed to sleep with me at night. Working around the clock in the studio meant that I got to spend a lot of time with her as well, even though that meant we were just sitting side by side while I was working. It was a special time. I knew Ash was old and deteriorating, but she’s been so tough in the past (she bounced back from strokes a couple of times in the past,) so I was hoping she would do so once again. The week of October 7^th was my deadline to finish all my works. I finished everything and got all the new works photographed on the 5^th. I brought three large drawings to the framer on the 6^th. And on the 10^th, my other framer came to pick up small drawings to frame. Everything was going well on the schedule. Then, October 11^th, on early morning, Ash died.

Ash was 17 years old, blind and deaf, but never gave up on living until the end.

The last three days of her life, Ash completely lost an interest for eating, and I had to force-feed her. I knew her days weren't long. She waited until I was ready—only after I finished all my works for the show and got everything arranged, she decided it's time. The gift was that she let me witness her passing in my arms. I know she did that for me. She slept in my bed that night. Around 1am, she wanted to get out, so I lowered her down to the floor, but she couldn’t walk very well. I knew then that I might have to take her to the vet in the morning and put her to sleep, which I really didn't want to do. After 3am, her breathing started getting irregular. I kept stroking her and telling her how great kitty she has been and she can go. That morning, only after my alarm o'clock went off at 7:30am and I was fully awake and watching her, she turned around to face me, stretched and reached her arms to me, then she took her last breath. It was 7:35am.

Today, my solo show, “The River” opened.

I feel like my river is also opening up.

The River

VanDernoot Gallery
at University Hall


October 24 - November 27

Opening Reception: Wednesday, October 30^th, 6:00-8:00pm

Lesley University College of Art and Design

1815 Massachusetts Avenue


Cambridge, MA

Hours: Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday: 12 - 5 pm, Thursday: 3 - 8 pm

Hours are subject to change; please call ahead to confirm, 617.585.6656.